hi people,
finally felt compelled to write again…i guess its one of those days when ive been forced to think and express…move out of my intertia and make the effort…
a dear friend lost her grand mother today…after a long battle with illness, she finally decided to let go and move away from her loved ones, her own and others who were praying and wishing for her recovery all these days…
the news came in as a simple message:’ my nani passed away’…but it brought to me a whole gamut of emotions and even more brought forth from within me…
set me thinking about the impermanance of life once again…how dearly we cling on to life and our loved ones…how much we are willing to put at stake to keep them alive and happy…or just alive…many times it seems the way of expressing our gratitude to our loved ones…at other times…it doesnot matter what it means…we just want them to be with us forever…no matter what!
and yet life and death are inseperable and cannot be avoided…death for sure brings up a lot many questions than birth does…so where is she now?- my friend’s naani(maternal grand mother in India)… where is her life? a few days or even hours ago she was there…infront of her family…and breathing her last…and probably remembering all the good and bad times she had experienced in her life…of everyone she was attached to, of every single member of her family and friends, the moments they shared, from the time of their birth to her present moment then… all that she found worth living for and all that she remembered was worth dying for when she was faced with such crisis in her life…just trying to put myself in her shoes at those moments- its hard to imagine but i guess this may have been her final thoughts amongst wishing her successors and loved ones a happy journey ahead in their lives and wondering what is in store for her next life… trully its hard to fathom beyond that…
ive never met her… and most certainly will not ever again…but having prayed for her the last few days and being aware of her well being and her struggle to beat the shadows of death and emerge out of it alive and reunite with her loving family, brings tears to my eyes…tears that stem from a bond that i feel with a fellow human being who has walked this planet while i did…tears that remind me of my own grandmothers…one who passed away years ago, and one who is fighting illness and old age right now as i write…a feeling of compassion that wells forth from within me for her, its inexplainable! but it does make me wonder about how we all are essentially connected as lives that are part of this vast universe…we feel the same kind of joy and sufferings and have largely the same kind of journey from birth to death…and yet we fail to see that common ground for most part of our short visit on this planet as human beings….how easily we get swayed by the relative happiness we find in things and moments…and forget the essential meaning of being a human being!
surely, this day brought back to me a lot of thoughts and reminded me about my own grand mother after days or even months…so i found it worth my while to call her and hear her old, and yet loving voice…a voice that i remember from the time i began to remember…a voice that never once wished me anything but happiness and a voice that has reached out to each and every one she gave birth to and the ones who came thereafter…all that she has done all her life for all of us is everything she could in her power to make us feel comfortable and happy despite her own struggles and shortcomings…trully, there is no one else that could be compared to the almighty in this world than such a Mother, such a Grand Mother!
As i mourn the death of one such grand mother today, i salute all the grand mothers who are alive or have lived and made life worth living for all us grand children who probably never could do enough to repay our debt of gratitude to them…and i shall continue to pray for them to born again in great health and better circumstances and live out yet again such meaningful and selfless lives for the sake of us lesser mortals.
And yes, in the present, i determine to visit and speak to my own grand mother more often and treasure all such occassions for all time to come:-)
hope u all do the same…
P.S. dont wait…
